How is communication in your relationships? Do you feel like you’re talking to dogs who do not understand?
Some days when Mike and I talked it felt like I was talking to a brick wall. I’m sure he felt the same way at times. Other days everything clicked.
A big part of communication breakdown can be based on your personality type and how you see the world. Where I am an introvert who looks at the big picture and how things feel. He was an extrovert who liked details and thinking things through. I want things to be clearly stated. He would make assumptions about what was meant.
One time early in our marriage he asked me to do something. Later he asked if I had done it.
Yes, I replied.
And he asked then why didn’t you do this?
I didn’t know it needed to be done.
He said that logically followed and asked me if he needed to draw me a picture.
To which I responded yes you do.
You see he assumed that I would know that the second thing needed to be done. We had grown up completely differently and I didn’t understand that it would follow. I also grew up around a different communication style than he did where not as many assumptions were made.
Another time I wanted him to put some cup hooks under the counter to hang coffee mugs on. Where do you want them, he asked?
Under the counter, I said. Where do you want each hook, how far apart?
Under the counter so they don’t hit each other, I said.
I see things as a whole, the big picture, and how they feel. He was looking for details that I couldn’t give him. He was thinking about exactly where they needed to be placed. He had also been trained in shop class where it mattered where you placed parts.
It’s funny in those two examples the one who needed details swapped. It all has to do with how our typology fits in. If you are having trouble communicating with someone does your shadow self come out and do you get upset? Do you see how it might help to understand a little about the other’s personality and how they think?
Come spend some time with me and the horses to get to know yourself better. It will improve your communications in all areas of your life. Connect with me here for more information.
When you Know Thyself it’s easier to get to know others.
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Onward!
