Do you ever feel invisible? Do you want to have Harry Potter’s cloak of invisibility?
I read a post this week where a woman said that when she was a child her parents didn’t acknowledge her so she would do things to get their attention. Which means she would get their attention by getting into trouble. It went on to talk about how she was not putting her best self forward in her business because she was trying to be invisible.
Last week was the closing on mom’s house. I’m so glad my brother came out to help. It was an effort to get her to leave. Before he left, I told him how much I appreciated that he was here. He mentioned that he had never had many issues with mom before and things had gotten a little tense at times working to get her out of the house. I told him that things had gotten tense between mom and me a few times during the move. And he acknowledged that I had been there more than he was, and it was to be expected. It felt good to hear him say that. To be seen by him.
Being the only daughter I, of course, had some tense moments with her as a child and teenager. She called me the moody one. He was the golden child. He was the middle child (only 15 months younger than the oldest) so he talks about being invisible. That’s not how I remember it. He was the one with a group of friends that always came over. He ran in cross country, played basketball, and ran in track. Definitely being seen.
Lately, I’ve been feeling invisible in other areas of my life. Like I’m shrinking back and don’t want to be seen.
In high school, I had a stalker. He tried to follow my every move. I wanted to be invisible. Horses were my place to shine and my way to get away. I showed them and rodeoed. It took me out from under his prying eyes. It also made him green with envy. When I was out of town, I could be myself.
The horses have always helped me stay centered. Photo by Rhonda Abell
Being the only doctor’s daughter, I always felt like everyone was watching me as well. Again, a great reason to go out of town, to be invisible for a while.
Sometimes invisibility is our strategy to avoid fear. Fear of failure or fear of success. If we’re invisible, we won’t have either. We’ll be comfortable. We live our lives in mediocrity. I know my feelings of invisibility can put me in this category. I can always go to the horses to feel seen. To see them giving me all their attention. It makes me feel special.
Are you ready to let go of being invisible? Connect with me here and see how my horses and I can help.
Stop being Invisible.
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Onward!
