Learning to be seen when I’d rather stay safely behind the lens
The Shift from Behind the Camera
Courage. Lately, for me, this means talking to people and doing the things that are uncomfortable.
For many years, I’ve been behind the camera or writing. Now I’m being asked to show up in front of the camera—to talk directly to people.
I prefer to have the camera lens between me and everything else.
When Familiar Doesn’t Feel Easy
Talking to people in person is easier when I can find the “right” space. I’m told that’s any time I can talk with someone—in line at a store, at a restaurant, anytime I’m out and about.
In the past 40+ years, have things changed? It was still uncomfortable then, and yet I would sing solos in choir and at contest in high school. I was even a vocal performance major for a while.
That feels a little backwards now. I remember taking the Kiersey Bates temperament sorter right out of high school—it showed I was more introverted than I am today.
The Quiet Ways Courage Slips
Recently, I passed on even trying out for a solo in the choir I’m singing with now. I told myself I didn’t want to work any harder on the music than I already was.
Or… has my courage for stepping out in front of people waned?
Since September, I’ve been telling stories at storytelling events—something well outside my comfort zone. The first time, I froze in the middle of my story.
They never go like I rehearse. That’s OK… and frustrating.
The Edges That Still Catch Me
It’s not actually talking to people in person that’s scary. I seem to have that down.
But selling my business—even then—feels hard. Most of the time, it doesn’t seem like the right moment.
And don’t even ask me to make a telephone call. I’ll procrastinate that for as long as possible.
What feels toughest these days is getting in front of the camera—whether it’s a selfie or a video.
Everyone says video sells.
And still, I struggle.
I feel frayed… or like I’m caught in the fold—afraid I’ll say something wrong or sound like I don’t know what I’m doing.
Trusting What I Cannot See
I know I have angels, guides, and guardians looking out for me—and yet I find it hard to trust them. To truly turn it over.
And maybe that’s where the real courage lives.
Not in getting it right.
Not in saying it perfectly.
Not even in being ready.
But in stepping into the fray anyway.
The Practice of Showing Up
In letting my voice shake a little.
In hitting “record” before I’ve convinced myself not to.
In trusting that the message will land with the person it’s meant for—even if it’s messy, even if it’s imperfect.
Because the truth is, the stories I tell—the ones that don’t go as rehearsed, the ones that catch in my throat—those are often the ones that reach someone.
Maybe courage isn’t about becoming someone new.
Maybe it’s about unfolding… slowly… honestly…
Letting the parts of me that have been tucked away step forward—even when it feels vulnerable.
Even when it feels like I might come undone.
And maybe trusting my angels doesn’t look like certainty.
Maybe it looks like taking the next small step and believing I won’t fall apart in the process.
Or if I do…that I’ll be held.
Step Into the Fray With Me
If this resonates—if you feel that pull between staying safe and stepping forward—I’d love to talk with you.
Whether it’s about finding your voice, navigating the discomfort, or simply having a space where you don’t have to hold it all together…
Reach out and schedule a conversation. Let’s see if Equine Gestalt is a fit for you.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Every story needs a soundtrack.
This is the one I’ve chosen for this post—sometimes because of the title, sometimes the lyrics, sometimes simply the feeling it stirs in me.
