Somedays it seems like life is carrying you along and you don’t have much control over where you’re going. I know that for the five and a half years I was caregiving for Mike I felt this way a lot. Now with my mother having a stroke and being in three different places since February 3, I feel like that again. The movement carries you along even when you want to step off.
With Mike, it started slowly and gained momentum. He was hospitalized and diagnosed with a rare auto-immune disease in January 2013. Shortly after that, we drove to Denver to see a rheumatologist who came to Colby but wanted his initial appointment to be in Denver. Denver is 250 miles west of Oakley. He wanted Mike to see the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor in Hays again. Hays is 90 miles east of Oakley. Then, at least we could see the rheumatologist in Colby. Only 20 miles west of Oakley. This is health care and life in rural Kansas.
Traveling to See Specialists
After we had gone to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN in July 2014 he was referred to a rheumatologist at KU Med Center in Kansas City. KU Med Center was 350 miles east of our house in Oakley. Yes, this was 100 miles farther and we felt more comfortable with his team of doctors there than before.
Then things escalated in November. His primary care thought he had lung cancer. They wanted to send him by ambulance to KU Med Center and he wouldn’t allow that. My dad intervened and took him to a surgeon he had worked with to get the urgent situation taken care of and we went to see an oncologist at KU Med Center.
This happened to be right before Thanksgiving and we drove to Kansas City at least five times between November 10 and December 9. They would run a test and set up an appointment in a week to visit about the results. The results didn’t find anything, so they’d run another test and set up another follow-up. That didn’t find anything so another test. Finally, he was set up for a PET scan with follow-up immediately with a surgeon. The surgeon who we got to know well later said the PET scan showed that the two courses of treatment that he was considering would be too much for what the scan showed. They never did find cancer. That was our last trip until March for his regular scheduled appointments with the specialists.
There may be curves ahead.
All of this while I was working full time had me flowing along with the momentum of the ride. I didn’t feel like I was performing well, and I couldn’t jump off that train. I had to keep going.
Do you ever feel like you’re along for the ride and don’t have control over where you’re going? Come take a break and let the horses show you how to be mindful and present. Click the button below for a no-obligation Zoom to chat.
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Onward!
