What I Wish My Doctors Would Have Known When I Was A Patient and Caregiver – Part 5
This is part 5 of a 5-part series. To read the other posts follow the links at the bottom.
Don’t Apologize for Being Late — Thank Your Patient for Understanding
Do you ever have days that seem to fall apart? Do you get lost in the process of it all? Sometimes this can make you run late. When you’re running late don’t start out an appointment by apologizing. Instead thank your patient for understanding.
This happened to me when visiting one of my oncologists. He came into the room apologizing for being late. Honestly, if he hadn’t mentioned it, I wouldn’t have realized it.
I told him not to apologize for being late. My feelings are if he needs to spend a little extra time with someone else, he will also be willing to spend extra time with me when needed.
Let’s say he had a patient that morning that he had to tell that treatment wasn’t working as expected and they need to discuss other options. It might take some time especially if the patient has a lot of questions. He’s gone over his “allotted” time with this patient and it puts him behind the rest of the day.
Another scenario may be that he wants to run some type of test. He wants the patient to come back in after he gets the results. This is an add-on that takes time. In the case of the oncologist, it might be another possible cancer and he may need to spend a bit of time explaining that to the patient.
When I had this discussion with my doctor, he said another patient had raked him over the coals for being late. As patients I would challenge you to remember your doctor isn’t out roaming the halls aimlessly – they are being compassionate with other patients. They will show the same compassion to you. As a patient, if you don’t understand this you are creating a chasm between yourself and your doctor.
Doctors are pushed to have a certain number of patients a day and are not allotted as much time as they may need. Some pencil pusher has deemed that they should be able to see patients in a certain amount of time. However, doctors and patients are human and don’t respond as the pencil pushers think they should. Some patients have a lot of questions or may not understand how a doctor explains things. Some situations may be highly charged with emotions and take more time. Give each other some grace.
Photo by Kim Beer.
This entire series has been based on doctors forming better connections with their patients. Saying thank you instead of I’m sorry can create a subtle shift from separation to connection and more synergy in your relationship.
Can you think of a time when it felt like a doctor rushed in apologizing for being late? How about a time when you were late? Share your thoughts in the comments below or connect with me here.
Make a Connection in the comments below.
Onward!
