How Horses Helped Me Heal from Burnout
Caregiving takes a toll emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It can lead to burnout.
I consider myself lucky. My husband, Mike, was self-reliant and independent. I didn’t feel like I couldn’t leave home or had to find respite care for him.
We also had a teenage son at home who I may have relied on too much. He grew up way too fast.
If you find yourself feeling irritable, resentful, chronically fatigued, or depressed you may be facing burnout.
The Challenges of Juggling Work and Caregiving
I was a caregiver for five and a half years. For the first three, I had a full-time job. We also lived in a rural area and drove over 57,000 miles for my husband’s medical appointments during this time.
I faced burnout regularly. I was on autopilot most of the time. When I was at work, I found myself not knowing what I had done or needed to do next. I couldn’t rely on my memory anymore.
When we were traveling, I often took work with me. I do remember telling my boss once when I had to take time off without pay that I would not be working on that job during that time.
The Importance of Movement and Self-Care
Horses were a big part of my mental health. When we were at home I would go out and feed them twice a day. When I was there everything was right with the world.
They were about a half mile from our house. When the weather permitted, I would walk. This gave me time to clear my head and do something physical outside of caregiving.
When we were at my parents’ house in the Houston area for at least a week at a time I would walk on the treadmill. I craved that activity.
When Mike was an inpatient at KU Med Center I would put on my headphones, turn on my music, and walk the halls. Most of the floors had hallways that seemed to be made for this. I once told one of his doctors who had seen me walking that if I didn’t, they may be referring me to a psychologist or orthopedist.
Getting rest is somewhere I think caregivers can be deficient. I remember feeling guilty when walking out of the ward Mike was on with a woman who said she hadn’t left the hospital since her adult daughter had been there. I left every night unless we’d gotten in late, or the weather was bad. I wanted to be as well rested as I could be. Now I know that it was right for us that I didn’t stay.
A Transformational Moment with the Herd
When I started Equine Gestalt training, I became more aware of my feelings. I started to understand that the horses were healing me when I went out to feed them.
One evening after a stressful drive home from KU Med Center I was feeling like I was expected to tell Mike that he wasn’t a candidate for a surgery he had been too sick to have several months before. It was August so I went to check the water after I fed. Three of the mares came over and surrounded me. The fourth, alpha mare, checked for any more feed then came over and dismissed the others. Then she proceeded to balance my energy. When she was done, she joined the herd.
Are you caring for a loved one and looking for support? The horses and I are here for you. I’m planning a Caregiver’s Connection Circle. For the time being it will be inside. If you’d like more to keep up to date on it click the button below to download Quick Tips to Avoid Caregiver Burnout and join my Connection List.
Make a Connection in the comments below.
Onward!
