Advocating for Yourself in Healthcare and Beyond
Have you ever felt unheard by your doctor, dentist, or healthcare provider?
My Frustrating Experience at the Dentist
Last year when I changed dentists because of the move, I certainly felt this way. It felt like they were moving people like cattle through a chute. They did x-rays, then the dentist came in and took a look, and then someone came in with a financial quote and talked it over with me. They expected me to schedule all the work they thought needed to be done before I left.
I think I left with three appointments. One for a cleaning. One for a filling and crown. One for a filling on the other side.
All this for someone who didn’t have any fillings. The most dental work I’d had was braces, wisdom teeth removed (in the hospital), Invisalign, and then one cracked root that needed to be removed. And it felt expensive and like insurance wasn’t covering enough. This had me feeling powerless and anxious.
Then a few days before the filling and crown on the right side I was in immense pain. I went in and had the dentist take a look. Now he said we’d need to add a root canal. He gave me some pain medicine and antibiotics and said he’d see me in a few days. Again, someone came in to discuss financials.
When I Knew I Had to Speak Up
I think it was at that visit that I asked if we could remove that tooth. I had lost the one on the other side and hadn’t had any trouble with it. He said no, let’s see if we can save it.
The tooth filling, root canal, and crown took all afternoon. It was excruciating! Sometime while they were doing x-rays an aide who was in training came in. Then she came in the room where he was doing the root canal. So now he’s telling her (and me) what’s happening.
This was a new wrinkle. I would step out of the room whenever they were starting an IV with Mike because even though I could turn away, I couldn’t avoid hearing the commentary. It made me cringe.
The dentist was young so I told him I would have appreciated being asked if it was okay to have a student in the room. He said that a root canal didn’t take much assistance so he thought it would be fine.
I’ve never turned down having a medical student in the room when asked. My dad had a lot of students in his office and many of my first pap smears were done by them. I probably wouldn’t have turned him down. It still would have been nice to be asked.
The second filling was done by a different dentist. I preferred her. Then I was set up for another cleaning and check in six months.
If we don’t listen to ourselves and others communications can become out of balance.
The crown was never right. There was a soft lump on the outside of the gum at that tooth. Then I could feel what I can only describe as a crack on the tooth. It wasn’t causing much pain, so I didn’t call in for another appointment.
When I went in for the second cleaning and check-up it was the second dentist. Now the tooth needed to be removed. They would credit me for the crown in the implant process.
Wait! What if I don’t want an implant? I’ve gotten along with missing the one on the other side just fine.
She insisted that an implant was the best option. Again, the financial person came in with figures for the extraction and implant. I left without making an appointment.
About mid-January, it felt like the crown had broken. So, I called the office. The oral surgeon was only in their office for two days a month and didn’t have availability until late February. They recommended a couple of other oral surgeons.
These young horses are figuring out communications in the herd.
Great now I had to make more phone calls!
The first office I called said they could get me in quickly until I said I didn’t want to be awake for the procedure. Then we set up a consult for February 6th.
That was an easy consult. When the oral surgeon and I were talking he didn’t mention an implant. So, I asked if he was going to push an implant. No, he wasn’t. We discussed how I had done with missing the other tooth and that I could do that later if I wanted. What a nice experience.
The oral surgeon shares space with a family dentist’s office. I may switch my primary dental care to the second dentist’s office.
What I do know is if they try to schedule me with the first dentist at the first office I will decline and ask for a different dentist.
There are times when we need to advocate for ourselves or our loved ones. Often when I’m in these situations it’s easy to let the professional make the decisions. After all, they have knowledge and experience that I don’t.
Do you sometimes feel like a pushover in similar situations?
Just like in the dentist’s chair, life often puts us in situations where we need to speak up for ourselves. But confidence isn’t always easy to find—especially when we’re used to deferring to experts. That’s where the horses come in. The horses and I can help you build confidence in yourself. Click the button below and let’s talk.
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Onward!
