Why Safe Spaces Matter
In the Touched By A Horse® community, we have a set of agreements that guide how we show up for one another. These agreements are read aloud at every event, and one in particular always strikes a chord with me:
Resolve Problems Constructively: I agree to take problems, complaints, and upsets to the person or persons with whom I can resolve them at the earliest opportunity. I agree to let go of the language of commiseration and complaint (gossip), and I will redirect others to do the same.
Earlier this year, during a training, I caught myself on the verge of gossip. Thankfully, another participant gently called me out. It was a needed reminder.
Growing Up in a Small Town
As the daughter of the only doctor in our county, I’ve always been sensitive to gossip. I hate it—and yet, I know how easily I can get pulled into it when chatting with people from back home.
I remember being in high school when REO Speedwagon had a song that started:
Heard it from a friend who / Heard it from a friend who / Heard it from another you’ve been messin’ around…
My mom hated that song. Our family was already a bit different from most in western Kansas, and because of my dad’s position, people often talked about us. Being under that microscope left a mark.
An Unexpected Emergency at the County Fair
Last weekend was the county fair in western Kansas—a fun tradition and a chance to reconnect with people from my hometown.
But before we got far from home, John had a seizure in the car. It was brief and not as intense as some of his others. Later that evening, during dinner, he had another one. This time it was full-blown. He was hitting his head on the wall, and I quickly moved to get him to the floor to prevent injury and help him stay on his side.
We were sitting in a smaller dining room, thankfully. One other person came over to help me, and the staff did what they could as well.
I don’t know if word spread, or how it might have been told—and honestly, I don’t want to know. But when something like this happens, you become painfully aware of how stories can get twisted.
Prepared for Confidentiality
I’ve always been prepared for this kind of thing. Growing up, I worked in my dad’s office and had access to private medical information. People would sometimes try to get details from me, but I knew better. I’d pretend I didn’t know anything.
After John’s seizure last fall—when he wrecked his pickup—the EMTs were called. One of them was a classmate of his. John asked him not to tell anyone, and his classmate replied, HIPAA makes it illegal for me to talk about a call. That reassurance meant a lot.
Creating a Safe and Confidential Space
The Equine Gestalt Method® is built on the importance of confidentiality. It’s part of the trust we offer each other in the coaching space. One of my core agreements says:
Maintain Confidentiality: I agree to respect the privacy and confidentiality of all participants. I commit to keeping any personal information shared within this group or process confidential and will not disclose it to anyone outside without explicit permission. This includes names, experiences, or any identifiable details. I understand that maintaining confidentiality is crucial for creating a safe and trusting environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing openly.
When you work with me—whether one-on-one or in a group—you can feel confident that what you share will stay safe. I’m prepared to honor your story, just as I’ve always been trained to do.
Brave Connections: A Safe Community for Parents
Equine Gestalt Group
Are you looking for a community where you can speak openly and honestly about what it’s like to have a child who experiences seizures? A place without judgment or gossip, where preparedness and healing go hand in hand?
That’s exactly what the Brave Connections retreat offers.
It’s a heartfelt, safe, and fun weekend designed for parents who need space to breathe, connect, and be seen. Click the button below for more information. I’d love to welcome you.
Onward!
