Since John went to KU last August I’ve enjoyed living alone. Many days the only reason I get out of the house is to feed the horses. So why do I feel so shut in now?
My mares help me stay centered.
On Saturday the Governor of Kansas issued a stay at home order starting on Monday. I think it’s the right move at this point. They think that there should be a peak in COVID-19 cases in Kansas by mid-April. Her order is until April 19.
Having John back for Spring Break was trying enough. I’ve gotten used to being able to do or eat when I want and what I want. It’s been quite liberating. The first time in over 30 years.
Then in the middle of Spring Break he got an email saying that KU would not be having in person classes for a while. The instructors would have a week after Spring Break to get their courses converted to online format. They would evaluate it weekly after March 28.
One of my reasons for staying centered.
One of my reasons for staying centered.
Then before they got into the online format, he got a message they the online format would be for the rest of the semester. He lives in an apartment and could have gone back to Lawrence but has decided not to. His job was at the Lied Center for Performing Arts and all their shows were cancelled. He said he would be in his apartment alone.
I agree it’s probably better for him to be here where his family is, but it has been an adjustment to have him here again. For him too.
One of my reasons for staying centered.
I have been cooking full meals again so there are a lot of leftovers. I’ve asked him to help with the cooking so he can become more comfortable in the kitchen.
Why do I feel so penned in?
I’ll still get out to feed the horses twice a day. We have a huge backyard where I can go and play with the dogs. I’ll still need to go out for groceries and horse feed at least weekly.
It’s a matter of having someone telling me that I don’t have that freedom. Not that I want to get out but that someone is telling me I am not allowed unless circumstances warrant.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how this would have been if Mike were still alive. He was immunocompromised. Would he have already put himself under a stay at home order? I don’t think so. I believe he would have gone on and done his farm and electrical work when he could. He was stubborn that way.
I’d like to help you stay centered
The rest of my reasons for staying centered.
I can only imagine what it must be like to be in this situation caring for a loved one. Having to take them to doctor’s appointments when there is a real risk to their health just getting out.
I can only imagine what it must be like to have a loved one on the front lines of this pandemic. Being tied to home while they risk their life to help others.
I’m starting two virtual Gestalt Groups one for caregivers and one for the loved ones of people who are on the front lines. These groups are places where you can talk and not be judged by me or others. Where you can see that you’re not the only one in this situation or with the feelings you have around it.
Join me to support others and get the support you need. Click here for the Caregivers’ Group. Click here for the Front Line Support Group.
The important part of life is The Climb.
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