Dalila checking out the new house.
My realtor told me that the house was being professionally cleaned the day before I took possession. I immediately wondered if they were also having the huge pile of manure and the open side of the barn cleaned. I would have preferred it if they would have done that. Even though cleaning house isn’t a strong suit for me, the barn is more important. And I don’t have the equipment to clean it up.
As I’ve been cleaning out my house in Oakley, I’ve come across a lot of stuff that I didn’t remember. One of those items was a four-page handwritten note from Mike. No doubt it was in response to a tirade I had written to him.
In the note, he did compliment me on at least one aspect of our life together up to that point. He also pointed out some places where I could improve, things that bothered him. I have to admit most of them were spot on.
He pointed out that I liked to have someone to do things for me, and that he sometimes felt like my chore boy. I’m sure this left me bruised at the time. And he was right.
When I was a girl all I had to do was go out, brush and tack up my horse, ride, and take care when putting him up after I had ridden. A lot of times I didn’t even have to feed them as they were boarded. I certainly didn’t have the skills to repair fences or do other maintenance besides mowing.
Mike was a do-it-yourself person. He built fence, worked on his equipment, etc. And sometimes I thought he took on too much.
Mike feeding cows in March 2007.
When we were first married, I wanted to have an active role in farming and ranching. That wasn’t how things worked so I went on to do my own things. I went back to school in Hays 90 miles away with two children, then three. Mike’s way of supporting me in most of my endeavors was to help me in the ways he could which I never felt like was enough at the time. As I look back, I see how much he really did help.
As I embark on this new adventure, I will need to find a posse to help me out with the repairs and maintenance around the ranch. I’m sure I’ll have to pay them better than I did Mike and my boys. This is how I was raised. Even my grandpa who was a farmer knew his limitations and didn’t work on equipment himself.
It took me a little longer to graduate from college.
Over the weekend I met a young man who would like to rent part of the grass for his cattle. He and his brothers looked at a leaky waterer and made some suggestions on who might be able to clean up the manure. They are going to walk the fence line this week and will fix the spots that need to be fixed.
The thing I see the most as I look back is that Mike did more than I gave him credit for. Our communications were not good and caused a lot of trouble in our marriage. I have also seen how doctors with clear communication, listening skills, and being able to share even snippets of their personal lives so patients don’t see them as superhuman create a relationship that is beneficial for their patients.
Trust The Process.
My passions are to help doctors build better relationships, so they are more satisfied in their practices, and to give caregivers support during and after their caregiving. I’ll be starting a Caregivers Circle in early to mid-July. Join my Connection List below to be kept up to date on the happenings at Connection And Synergy, LLC, and/or be put on the waiting list for the Caregivers Circle.
When communication is clear We Can Work It Out.
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Onward!
