Do you ever get triggered in your relationships? Do you react instead of responding to situations? The Equine Gestalt Coaching Method® can help you disrupt this pattern.
When Mike and I were married I was often triggered by his lack of a sense of time. He’d come home late and either dinner would be cold, or I would wait on him and not have something started. I’d get mad and yell at him for not respecting my time. He didn’t get it.
Or he’d leave the house and say I’ll be back in a couple of hours, and it would be all day. It infuriated me. I couldn’t plan anything because we had two little boys and it wasn’t easy to leave with them and get anything done.
There was one evening when I had something special planned. I had drinks and dinner at home, and he showed up hours later than I expected. I blew up. He didn’t have the skills to deal with my anger, so he left which made me angrier. It can be a vicious cycle.
If I would have had the skills to respond instead of reacting to the situation our relationship would have gone more smoothly. It’s a matter of clear communications and expectations. I’ve thought for a long time that most relationship problems are caused by poor communications. We have misunderstandings about our expectations someone gets triggered, and the whole relationship is put in jeopardy.
Relationship communication skills start with you. Had I been clear with my expectations on the time I expected him home it might have alleviated the situation. Had I known the difference between reacting and responding to situations it would have been a game-changer. Had I known about myself what I do now I would have been happier, and our relationship would have been less troubled.
Would you like to build better relationships whether with loved ones or at work? Join me in the Getting to Know Yourself Series with the horses to get a leg up on them. Connect with me here to learn more.
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