As I look out the window and watch the hummingbird flutter it’s wings, I remember that like water things will start to flow with ease again. The escape route is clear after the storm. It may take a lot of patience before things return to normal.
There was an emergency over the weekend. My son was taken to the emergency department. After driving home from Missouri on Tuesday I was driving back to Lawrence on Friday. This I know. I know how to deal with health emergencies.
As a caregiver for my husband for five-and-a-half years we made this drive many times, some of them were in the middle of the night. If it was during a time when I didn’t need to stop and eat, I could drive the 350 miles from our driveway to KU Med Center in five hours.
The hardest drive I had with him was when we had gone to Houston to MD Anderson to see a hematologist. We had a test run, had gotten the results, and were waiting to see the specialists. His esophagus had closed down so much that he couldn’t eat or even drink comfortably. He was in a lot of pain. He had said we should cancel the appointment at KU Med for the dilation. I wouldn’t have it – I couldn’t stand to see him in so much pain.
We weren’t planning to leave until Saturday. On Thursday afternoon the pain was too bad, and we called the nurse at MD Anderson. She suggested an emergency room that was affiliated with MD Anderson. We arrived and checked in. We waited in the waiting room for three hours. They checked Mike out, did a chest x-ray, thought he had pneumonia, and wanted to put him on antibiotics that he wouldn’t be able to swallow. I looked at Mike and asked if he felt like he had pneumonia – he said no, we refused the antibiotics, and they discharged him. The whole process took at least eight hours.
We left for his appointment at KU Med Center the next afternoon. I knew he would want to split up the drive. When we got close to Kansas City I asked if he wanted me to call the hospital. He said no, let’s go to Roderick’s. At 5:00 the next morning he was ready to call. His doctor was on call and he was admitted.
As I have navigated the health care system with Mike and myself, I have learned a lot about it. At first, when a doctor in Oakley said I had to push to get things done I was incredulous. It’s their job to make appointments, make referrals to specialists, call in prescriptions, write orders for tests, and get results to the patients. She was right – you need to advocate for yourself and sometimes be relentless.
I feel like doctors are pushed to the brink with expectations. The patients expect them to be superhuman. They are expected to evaluate patients in a very short time to meet the needs of the clinic and the insurance companies.
It’s more important to the patients and caregivers that the doctors listen to them and make a connection.
Listen because sometimes the patient or their caregiver knows more about what’s going on than the doctor. When we were in the ED I mentioned above, and we refused the antibiotics we had them send the chest x-ray to KU Med Center. When we got to KU Med Center a few days later they said they’d seen his chest x-rays look a lot worse and didn’t treat him for pneumonia while he was there.
Make a connection so the patient doesn’t see you as omniscient, will be more likely to follow your medical advice, and have better outcomes.
I’ve seen a lot lately about burnout and doctors needing to heal after the pandemic. The horses and I are here to help. Connect with me here to learn more.
It’s not easy being Superman.
Make a Connection in the comments below.
Onward!
