My horses are set to be moved to Serenity Ranch on Wednesday, the summer solstice. I asked a friend what the significance might be. She told me that it’s a time for letting go of the old. That it’s a perfect time for them to start a new beginning with me at the new ranch. And that evil spirits are banished by the sun’s golden rays.
As I write this, I have two days to finish packing the stuff I want from my house in Oakley. There are a few large items that I wasn’t going to take or had thought I would leave for later that I’ve decided to take now so I’m renting another trailer.
As I drifted off to sleep last night, I was thinking about what needs to go. My main concern is that the barn isn’t quite ready for the horses. I’ll have to have buckets for the stalls and feeders. We need to take feed and a few other items. Where will we fit them in?
I think it would have been much easier to move in one step. That’s not how it happened. I have dragged it out, so it has taken almost two months of living in two places that are roughly 344 miles apart. Taking a load, unloading it, spending a night or two, and returning to western Kansas.
I feel like I’m surrounded by stacked boxes. First in Oakley, then they move to Oskaloosa. I’m feeling a lot of pressure.
Sometimes I get derailed by my memories and deciding exactly what to pack up and take. I may stand there looking at a room and see the child that called it his playing or sleeping. Mostly it is my personality. My typology is on the organized side although not very high. Spatial organization is an area where I tend to fall flat. This is an area where I want everything to be perfect and it rarely is. It’s also an area where I need to give myself some grace and find some help. Help to get a place for everything and help to keep things there. I also need to remember that everything will work out even if it’s not perfect, shattering that perfectionism like a piece of glass.
I have one large sunflower that is outside the barn in Oskaloosa to remind me to be strong and sturdy.
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Onward!
