There are times it feels like grief takes a pause. Or maybe life gets on a roll, and it is pushed aside.
Last week I had it come to the forefront. I had to make an account for the estate to put part of the money in from the sale of the land. This estate business has been a struggle. It seems I must keep the attorney on task. Some of this should have been set up four years ago.
When the account was all set up the woman looked at the checks and asked me to sign them. As I was signing the last one, I felt a tug at my heart. I don’t know if it was the finality of it or what brought the grief up.
I signed the check and gave it back to her. She gave me the deposit slip and asked if there was anything else she could do. I responded by quietly saying “turn back time”. I immediately felt bad about saying it, apologized, and scurried out the door. Alone in my Jeep, I tried to take a deep breath but couldn’t.
I felt the feels on the drive home and then it was replaced by panic as I realized I had missed an appointment at the vet.
On another occasion recently I had a friend of Mike’s ask if it was OK to share some memories about him. Yes, of course. The next time I saw him I told him I had enjoyed him talking about Mike and he shouldn’t hold back.
It’s funny how others treat people who’ve lost a loved one. It’s as if they’re afraid to remind you of your grief. In reality, when people speak of your loved one they may share a part of their life you didn’t know about. It’s nice to hear how they touched someone else’s life.
Grief can be especially hard during the holiday season. Do you have grief that feels like it sneaks up on you? The horses and I can help. Connect with me here to learn more.
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Onward!
