What the Trees Can Teach Us About Releasing
As we slide into November, nature reminds us that releasing what no longer serves us can make room for what comes next.
The Beauty of an Eastern Kansas Fall
The trees are dispersing their leaves as we slide into November. This time of year always reminds me of my first fall in eastern Kansas when I went to college. I was amazed by the colors of the leaves.
We didn’t get as much color in western Kansas. Either we don’t have the kinds of trees that produce those brilliant colors, or it gets cold so early that the leaves don’t have time to change. They go from green to brown.
Here in eastern Kansas, the colors appear more gradually. There’s time to watch the leaves change, enjoy the beauty, and see the trees slowly release what they’ve been holding onto.
There’s a meme that makes the point that trees show us how lovely it is to let things go in autumn. I love that thought. Nature reminds us that sometimes the season is right for releasing what we no longer need to carry.
What Are You Holding On To?
Releasing things can look different for each of us. It might mean letting go of old habits that no longer serve us, relationships that have run their course, a career that no longer fits, or expectations we’ve placed on ourselves.
Sometimes we know exactly what we need to release. Other times, we’ve been so busy keeping everything going that we haven’t stopped long enough to recognize what’s weighing us down.
Maybe we’ve been filling every minute of the day with something to do. Staying busy can be a way to avoid feelings we don’t want to face or questions we aren’t ready to answer.
We keep plugging the hole with another task, another commitment, another responsibility. As long as we’re busy, we don’t have to pay attention to what’s happening beneath the surface.
What happens when we finally slow down?
We might discover that we’re tired. We might realize we’re holding on to something out of habit rather than because it still matters to us. Or we might hear what our heart has been trying to tell us for a while.
Sometimes, we need to create enough quiet to listen.
Rest Is Not the Same as Falling Behind
Over the last several weeks, I’ve felt like I haven’t accomplished much on the weekends. I had things I wanted to finish, tasks I planned to check off my list. Instead, I wanted to rest.
My dad used to tell me that if we needed a nap or needed to go to bed earlier than usual, it was probably exactly what our body needed.
I usually honor that advice.
It’s easy to measure our days by what we accomplish. We look at the unfinished list and decide we haven’t done enough. We forget that rest is necessary, too.
What if the most important thing we accomplish on a particular day is giving ourselves permission to stop?
When we continually push ourselves to do more, we can lose the space we need to grow. We get caught in the same routines, repeating the same patterns, and wondering why we feel stuck.
Sometimes, moving forward begins with slowing down. We have to release the idea that every moment must be productive before we can make room for something new.
Sometimes Releasing Requires a Ceremony
When my mom sold her house in 2021, I went through the things I had left in my childhood bedroom. Among them, I found letters from past boyfriends.
Some were love letters. Others were not-so-nice letters from relationships that had fallen apart.
For the boy who had stalked me until he graduated from high school, I took the letters outside to the porch off my bedroom and burned them. It was my way of releasing that experience into the Universe.
For the college boyfriend, I ceremoniously carried the letters out to the dumpster at our house and released them there.
Two different relationships. Two different ways of letting go.
Those letters had been sitting in a box for years. Finding them gave me an opportunity to decide what I wanted to continue carrying and what I was ready to release.
I didn’t need to keep those reminders. I could acknowledge that those relationships had been part of my life without giving them space in my present.
Sometimes, a physical act of releasing something helps us acknowledge an internal shift. We might write a letter we never send, clear out a drawer, walk away from an old commitment, or simply say aloud that we’re ready to move on.
The ceremony itself doesn’t have to be elaborate. What matters is the meaning we give it.
Make Room for What Comes Next
The trees don’t hold on to their leaves because they’re afraid of what will happen without them. They release them when the season changes.
We can learn something from that.
Releasing doesn’t mean that something never mattered. It doesn’t mean we have to forget the people we’ve loved, the experiences that shaped us, or the responsibilities we’ve carried. It means recognizing that we don’t have to carry everything forward with us.
For caregivers, this can be especially complicated. We may hold on to the role of being the strong one, the person who takes care of everyone else, or the one who always says yes. Those roles may have served us for a long time, even when they left little room for our own needs.
When life changes, we may need to reconsider which parts of those roles still fit and which ones we can release.
There is no single timeline for letting go. Some things take longer than others. And sometimes, we need to acknowledge what we’re feeling before we can decide what comes next.
As we slide into November, take a little time to notice the trees. Watch the colors change. See what happens when the leaves begin to disperse.
Then ask yourself: What am I ready to release, and what might become possible when I do?
You don’t have to figure it all out today. Start by giving yourself the space to listen.
Ready to Explore What You’re Holding On To?
If you’re navigating a transition, feeling stuck in old patterns, or trying to find yourself beneath the demands of caregiving, you don’t have to sort through it all alone.
Through Equine Gestalt experiences, I help people slow down, reconnect with themselves, and explore what may be ready to change. Sometimes, having space to talk, reflect, and experience a different kind of connection helps us recognize what we’re ready to release.
Click the button below to schedule a Zoom conversation with me to talk about where you are right now and explore whether working together might be a good fit.
You may not be able to choose the season you’re in, but you can begin to consider what you’re ready to let go of as you move into the next one.
Every story needs a soundtrack.
This is the one I’ve chosen for this post—sometimes because of the title, sometimes the lyrics, sometimes simply the feeling it stirs in me.
