How Old Stories About Not Being Enough Can Keep Us From Embracing the Future We Want
What signs do you see in your life? Are they leading you toward a brighter future? Do you embrace them, or do you find reasons to ignore them?
I’ve done both. And I’m learning that sometimes the biggest obstacle to moving forward isn’t what we don’t know. It’s what we’ve come to believe about ourselves.
The Story I’ve Been Carrying
This year, I’ve been putting more attention into manifesting the life I envision. I’ve rewritten my vision and created affirmations to support it. I want to move forward with greater confidence, trust what I bring to the world, and recognize opportunities when they appear.
One of my biggest blocks has been the feeling that I’m not knowledgeable enough.
When I look back, I can see how that belief took root.
I grew up with two older brothers who excelled in their own ways. One was an exceptional student, earning the highest ACT score in our high school. The other was a standout athlete who went on to complete his university degree in three years.
I admired them, yet somewhere along the way, I began to feel that I had a lot to live up to.
My own college journey was anything but straightforward. I started in architecture, switched to vocal performance, and eventually landed in animal science. Each time, I struggled with something I hadn’t anticipated or discovered that the path required a commitment I wasn’t prepared to make.
I also hadn’t learned how to study. In high school, I could absorb much of what I needed in class and graduated with honors. College was a different experience.
Eventually, I left school without completing my degree.
For a long time, I viewed those changes as evidence that I hadn’t measured up.
The Words That Become Our Inner Voice
Some of the messages I received along the way stayed with me.
My brothers chided me about my grades. I remember hearing my mom tell someone that when the school called about her gifted student, she told them her gifted sons had already graduated.
And then there was fourth grade. When I hadn’t completed my homework, my teacher sent me to the janitor’s closet.
These may seem like isolated moments, yet the stories we tell ourselves about such experiences can follow us for decades.
Mine began to sound something like this: You’re not as smart as other people. You don’t know enough. You need to prove yourself.
I carried that feeling into adulthood, even when my life offered evidence that I was capable of far more than I gave myself credit for.
In my thirties, I returned to college and finished my degree. I had two children at home, drove 90 miles each way to school two or three days a week, and tried to keep a travel agency and design business running. When our help quit, I closed the business. I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. Then, on top of everything else, I got pregnant.
During that season, school felt like the easiest thing I was doing.
Think about that for a moment. I had managed a demanding schedule, family responsibilities, a business, and a college degree. I had figured things out, adapted, and kept going.
Yet the old story about not being enough still had a place in my mind.
Isn’t it interesting how easily we can overlook the evidence of our own strength while holding tightly to beliefs formed when we were young?
Recognizing the Signs and Choosing a New Story
I can’t change the experiences that shaped me. I can, however, change how I interpret them and what I choose to believe about myself today.
Perhaps the signs I’ve been looking for aren’t always grand opportunities or unmistakable messages pointing me in a new direction. Perhaps some of the most important signs are the moments when I recognize an old belief trying to make a decision for me.
When I hesitate to share my knowledge, pursue an opportunity, or step into something bigger, I can pause and ask myself: Is this hesitation telling me something useful about the situation, or is an old story telling me I’m not enough?
That question creates space for a different choice.
I can acknowledge what I don’t know without deciding that I don’t know enough. I can be willing to learn without requiring myself to have every answer before I begin. I can recognize that someone else’s strengths don’t diminish my own.
And I can begin to trust that the future I envision doesn’t require me to become someone else. It asks me to bring more of who I already am.
Making Room for the Life You Want
What about you?
What do you believe is keeping you from being in flow? Are you living the big, beautiful life you want, or are you waiting until you feel more qualified, more prepared, or more certain?
Do you have a troll sitting on your shoulder, whispering that you’re not enough, you don’t know enough, or that you shouldn’t even try?
Those messages can feel so familiar that we stop questioning them. We mistake them for facts instead of recognizing them as stories we’ve learned to tell.
You don’t have to ignore your fears or pretend you have everything figured out. You can become curious about what’s holding you back and decide whether those old beliefs still deserve a place in your future.
I’m working on that myself. I’m learning to notice the signs, trust what I’ve learned through my own experiences, and embrace the possibilities ahead instead of allowing old doubts to keep me stuck.
Maybe finding your flow begins with a single question: What might become possible if I stopped believing that I wasn’t enough?
I’d love to hear what comes up for you.
Ready to Explore What’s Holding You Back?
Sometimes, it helps to have someone alongside you as you untangle old stories, reconnect with what matters, and discover new possibilities. Through Connection And Synergy, I offer Equine Gestalt experiences that create space for reflection, deeper connection, and meaningful transformation.
You don’t have to have all the answers before you begin. You only have to be willing to explore what might be possible.
Click the button below to schedule a Zoom conversation, and let’s talk about where you are, where you’d like to be, and what might help you move forward.
Every story needs a soundtrack.
This is the one I’ve chosen for this post—sometimes because of the title, sometimes the lyrics, sometimes simply the feeling it stirs in me.
