​For the last several years I haven’t done much, if any, decorating for Christmas. While Mike was sick, I never knew where we’d be, and I didn’t have the energy. He would decorate the outside but that had gotten less and less. For the last two years, John has put a string or two of lights outside, but we’ve done nothing else.

I used to go a bit overboard. About two years after Mike and I were married, before we had kids, he had gone bowling. While he was gone, I pulled out all the decorations, and when he came home the inside of the house was quite festive.

I love getting a real tree but several years ago I opted for an artificial one. Then later a pre-lit one. It all makes everything much easier.

The last few years that Mike was here he had a chair in the living room with supplies for several projects he was working on and there wasn’t room for a tree without moving all of it. I didn’t have the energy for that. I had also spent his last four holiday seasons feeling blessed that he was here to celebrate with us.

The first Christmas after he died being a few months out of treatment I still didn’t have the energy to move everything, so I helped at mom and dads. Last year it was all moved but I opted to help deck mom and dad’s house out with my granddaughter.

I had thought that my brothers would be here for mom’s first Christmas after Dad died then she went to Texas for the winter in mid-November. The thought of decorating my own house still seemed daunting. That thought went out the window.

At Thanksgiving John asked if we were going to decorate. I was non-committal. He asked if we did would it be our house or mom’s house. I said if we do anything it would be at our house. Still, I was not committed.

Then I brightened up. Yes, we’ll decorate our house. Last Wednesday it was a beautiful afternoon, in the 70s, and both John and I were able to work on it.

John pulled out the decorations and we decided what we’d use. There were fallen leaves between our fence and the dwarf trees that we have decorated in the past. I wasn’t comfortable stringing out an extension cord in the dead leaves, so we raked them and took them to the dumpster before we started.

When I went to feed, I thought the outside was finished. We’d done enough I was tired. When I walked around the corner on the way home, John had the lights on. It filled me with so much joy. Even though I wasn’t able to help and it was cold and windy he put some more lights up the next day.

Monday, I asked him to bring the pre-lit tree up so that the grandkids could come over and decorate it. When I got home that night, I was delighted to see it plugged in and lit. Even though the kids haven’t come to put ornaments on it I’m still happy to have it up.

This all goes along with reinventing myself. I feel like I’m coming out of a coma that I’ve been in for about seven years.

If you’d like to discuss how Gestalt can help you reinvent yourself connect with me here.

Who knew Lights could make such a difference?

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Onward!​