Being a caregiver is a lot like being a parent. It doesn’t come with an instruction book. You must decipher a lot of jargon you don’t understand. But you don’t get nine months to prepare and there doesn’t seem to be as much support for caregivers.
Even horse sales come with instructions.
I was reluctantly thrown into caregiving in January of 2013 when my husband was diagnosed with a rare auto-immune disease. For him this was just the tip of the iceberg. He had many other diagnoses and complications until his death in June of 2018.
I did have a therapist that I saw occasionally, and my family and friends were supportive but I think it would have been more helpful to have a group where I could see that I wasn’t the only one struggling. In my small rural community, I would have had to start group and I wasn’t up for it then.
I have met a woman since Mike’s death who has been a blessing to me. Her husband had cancer and died about six months before Mike did. It would have been so helpful to have met her while we were both caregiving for our husbands.
There is another local woman who lost her husband to cancer last summer. I hope I was a source of support for her.
On particularly rough days when I’m sure I can’t possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%… and that’s pretty good. Author Unknown
Caregiving can be a lonely job. When I started caregiving for Mike I had a full time job that I finally left when I had used all my sick leave, vacation leave, sick leave that two other employees gifted me, and had taken time off without pay. They were combining my job with another and I felt I couldn’t take on the responsibilities of another job.
I was so totally immersed in his caregiving, making trips to different hospitals or even frequent trips to KU Med Center, a 350-mile drive, that I didn’t feel like I had time for anything else. When I was working, I frequently didn’t remember what had been discussed in a previous meeting that I had attended. I do however remember specifics about things that came up with his care while I was at work.
When I quit working, I was enrolled in the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method® program. This program and the people in it became my support system. It absolutely put me in the best place I could be emotionally to deal with caregiving, a breast cancer diagnosis, and Mike’s death.
I’m feeling like to be a caregiver right now, being tied to the house or worried about going out for anything could be unbearable. I want to help.
I’m offering a pay what you can virtual group for caregivers. Click here for more information.
If you live with someone who works in healthcare you are their support. They need you more than ever right now. You need to take care of yourself as well. For you I’m offering a pay what you can virtual group. Click here for more information.
What are you doing to save yourself? Savin’ Me
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Onward! Our Health Care Workers Are in a War Zone and I’d Like to Help
