Right now, I’m anticipating my horses coming to live at the new property. Then I was disappointed.
I’ve been trying to get them here since the first of May when I took possession. It’s been rough going back and forth. Bringing small loads, spending a night or two, and going back to take care of the horses. To say I’m tired is an understatement.
I have arranged for someone to transport them sometime between June 20-22. Much later than I wanted it to be. Then last night I got a message asking if we could push it off until July.
This has been delaying my move here and the start of my business here. I’m not working, and I’d like to start. A lot of feelings started bubbling up. I don’t want to delay this move any longer.
A lot of times I would let someone run over the top of me in a situation like this. Let them push my boundaries. Then I would feel angry at myself for letting it happen.
I often feel like I’m strong in character. Then someone will ask me to do something that I’d rather not and I feel shame come up and I relent and do it. It’s as if a vacuum sucks the life right out of me.
I don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. I don’t want them to think less of me. I’m a people-pleaser!
Sometimes it’s necessary to be flexible. When I was caregiving, it was imperative. Things might need to be changed or done at the last minute.
One of the places I have a lot of trouble with boundaries is with my son when he asks me to watch my grandchildren. It’s hard to say no to a last-minute request even if it puts me out and I must shift things around.
What are the causes of my people-pleasing? I haven’t gotten to the bottom of it yet. Being raised as the only doctor’s only daughter in a small town contributed. It can feel like everyone knows your business or at least thinks they do. I’m sure there are other factors as well.
So, when are my horses being moved? Sometime between June 20-22. The sun shone down on me, and I was able to say no to waiting any longer.
Would you like to probe into why your boundaries get pushed? The horses and I can help you find out and help you set boundaries for yourself.
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Onward!
