Does Time Control You?

We can’t control time, yet we can choose what we make room for.

Time Has a Way of Taking Over

Time.

Sometimes it seems to consume our lives.

For some people, time is neatly divided into eight-hour workdays, five-day workweeks, weekends, holidays, and vacations. You work from 9 to 5, you get a paycheck at regular intervals, and you generally know when you are expected to be at work and when you are free to do what you want.

For others, especially entrepreneurs, farmers, and people who work for themselves, the lines can be much less defined.

You may have the freedom to set your own hours, yet somehow find yourself working far more hours than you ever did when someone else was setting your schedule.

There are tradeoffs either way.

When you work for someone else, there is often some comfort in knowing when the paycheck is coming. Your workday may have a defined beginning and end. You can take vacation. You may even be able to leave work at work.

When you work for yourself, the paycheck can be unpredictable. Deadlines don’t necessarily care what day it is. And because the business is yours, it can be incredibly difficult to turn it off.

The freedom you wanted can start to feel a lot like another kind of obligation.

Freedom Has a Cost

Farmers understand this kind of relationship with time particularly well.

They don’t necessarily get paid every two weeks. They get paid when they sell their crops. Depending on the crop and the year, that might happen three or four times.

When that check comes, it must last.

There can be some pretty lean stretches between those paydays.

And yet, many farmers wouldn’t trade the freedom that comes with being their own boss.

My husband was one of those people.

I remember one time when he spent two days building fence so he could move his cows where he needed them before heading off on a fishing trip he’d been anticipating.

Those weren’t eight-hour workdays.

They were long days. Hot days. Hard days.

Yet he was willing to put in those hours because he had somewhere he wanted to be.

If he’d been working for someone else, perhaps he would have simply requested those days off for vacation. Or maybe he would have gone fishing on the days he wasn’t scheduled to work.

Instead, he worked when the work needed to be done so he could have the freedom to do what mattered to him.

That, to me, is one of the great tradeoffs of controlling your own time.

Sometimes you work more.

Sometimes you work less.

And hopefully, you have more say in why you’re doing either one.

I’m Not a Great Employee

I’ve discovered something about myself over the years.

I’m not a particularly great employee.

Not because I don’t do the work.

Quite the opposite.

I tend to take work home with me. I overthink things. I overwork. If something needs to be done, I’m likely to keep going until it’s done—even if that means ignoring everything else that needs my attention.

That became especially difficult during the last employee relationship I had.

I was already overwhelmed.

I was caregiving for my husband, and I had used all of my vacation time and sick time. My coworkers had generously given me more than two weeks of their sick leave, and I’d used that too.

Eventually, I had to take time off without pay.

The family leave policy allowed me up to six months away from work without pay before I would lose my job.

And then I learned that my job was going to be combined with another full-time position.

I remember thinking:

Wait a minute! I’m already working two full-time jobs. I can’t take on the responsibilities of another one.

That was the moment I realized something had to change.

So, I left.

And I started the Equine Gestalt program, combining two things I love—horses and helping people.

What I Gained Wasn’t Just a Business

Starting my own business didn’t magically give me more hours in the day. I still have deadlines. I still have days when I have more things to do than hours to do them. And there are still times when I find myself working late because something needs to get finished.

The difference is that I have much more say in how I use my time.

This morning, I went out to photograph sunflowers at sunrise. I didn’t have to ask someone for permission to do it. I didn’t have to wait for a vacation day. I simply looked at my schedule and decided that this was something I wanted to make room for.

I also set aside one weekday each week to help my mother.

Those things matter to me.

And having control over my schedule gives me the ability to make room for them.

Some days I don’t have to watch the clock at all. Other days my schedule is planned almost to the minute.

And you know what?

That’s okay.

What Are You Making Room For?

Maybe that’s the real question.

We spend so much time trying to manage time.

We make lists. We schedule appointments. We block calendars. We set timers. We try to become more productive so we can somehow squeeze more into the twenty-four hours we’ve been given.

Yet sometimes the issue isn’t that we don’t have enough time.

Maybe it’s that we’re not always intentional about what we’re giving our time to.

Because every yes is a use of time.

Every obligation takes time.

Every relationship takes time.

Every dream takes time.

Every “someday” takes up space in our minds, even if we’re not actually doing anything to move toward it.

And sometimes the things that matter most to us get whatever scraps of time are left over.

That’s where your kaleidoscope within comes in.

There are so many different parts of us—caregiver, parent, spouse, professional, entrepreneur, friend, artist, adventurer, dreamer.

Sometimes one part takes over.

Sometimes another part gets pushed aside.

Sometimes we become so focused on what everyone else needs from us that we lose sight of what we need from ourselves.

Discovering the Kaleidoscope Within is about becoming curious about all those different pieces of yourself—and asking what each one needs.

Including the part of you that might simply want more time to breathe.

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

There is an old Chicago song that asks, Does anybody really know what time it is?

Maybe that’s a better question than we realize.

We act as though we can control time.

We can’t.

We can’t slow it down.

We can’t save it for later.

We can’t go back and reclaim the hours we’ve already spent.

What we can control, at least to some degree, is how we choose to spend the time we have.

Sometimes time controls us.

Sometimes we control our relationship with time.

And sometimes the difference between the two begins with simply becoming aware of where our time is going—and whether that’s where we want it to go.

What Would You Do With More Choice?

Do you control your time?

Or does it control you?

If you’re ready to get curious about the different parts of yourself, what they need, and what you want to make room for in your life, let’s talk.

Every story needs a soundtrack.

This is the one I’ve chosen for this post—sometimes because of the title, sometimes the lyrics, sometimes simply the feeling it stirs in me.

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? – Chicago