Sometimes the future becomes clearer when we stop trying to predict it and start getting curious about the next step.
An Opportunity or an Obligation?
Sometimes opportunities can feel like obligations.
Maybe the invitation is to look at them differently.
Instead of asking, “Do I have to do this?” what if we asked, “What opportunity is in front of me?”
Last week, I had the opportunity to see Styx and Chicago in concert.
Styx is one of my all-time favorite bands. My oldest brother introduced me to Styx and Kansas when he came home from college for a break. He took me out to “drag main,” and we listened to his 8-track tape player. I was in junior high.
Somehow, all these years later, I’m standing in a crowd listening to Styx live for the third time.
And ever since that concert, one song has been bouncing around in my head: Crystal Ball.
What Would I See?
It got me wondering…
If I had a crystal ball, what would I see?
Would I see the future I have envisioned?
I have a written vision for my life and my business. Parts of it have already come to fruition. The ranch I once imagined is now real. I have the space to hold small retreats. I have the horses. I have the experience. I have the stories.
So, what is holding me back from completing the rest of the vision?
Where is the oppression—or even the form of it—that I have somehow created for myself?
What am I afraid of?
Those questions are uncomfortable.
They also create an opportunity.
Curiosity Changes the Question
Maybe this is where curiosity comes in.
In a recent blog, I wrote about being curious rather than judgmental. It is easy to look at ourselves and ask, “Why aren’t you doing this yet?” We can turn our own expectations into a measuring stick and decide we aren’t doing enough, moving fast enough, or becoming who we thought we would be.
Curiosity asks something different.
“What’s really going on here?”
“What am I afraid of?”
“What has changed?”
And as I’m writing this, I realize something has changed.
I need to rewrite my vision.
When the Vision Changes
When I originally wrote it, my focus was broader. Over time, my work has increasingly centered around caregivers. That wasn’t necessarily the plan when I started. It has emerged through my own experiences, the people I’ve met, the stories I’ve heard, and the places my work keeps leading me.
Perhaps that isn’t a detour from the vision.
Perhaps it is the vision becoming clearer.
Sometimes we think we need to be more flexible. Other times we need stronger boundaries. The sweet spot is learning to recognize the difference between being flexible and abandoning ourselves.
The same is true of expectations.
Some expectations open doors. Others quietly become obligations.
And sometimes we don’t even realize we’ve crossed that line because we’ve developed habits around how we think we should be doing things.
The Stories That Keep Us Small
We can become so accustomed to those habits that they feel like facts.
“I should already have this figured out.”
“I should be further along.”
“I said I was going to do this, so I have to.”
“I’ve already invested so much time and energy.”
Those thoughts can keep us standing in a doorway instead of walking through the open door.
Or worse, they can convince us there is no door at all.
I’ve written before about rediscovering ourselves and the stories that keep us small. I’ve written about victim thinking and how easy it can be to give our power away by focusing on what is happening to us rather than asking what is available for us.
That doesn’t mean difficult circumstances aren’t real. Caregiving can be a hard road. There are expectations to meet even when they are our own and not imposed by someone else.
The question is what we do with those expectations.
Look for the Light
What if the opposite of obligation isn’t freedom?
What if it is opportunity?
What if the door we keep looking for isn’t some giant, dramatic opening? What if it’s the small invitation right in front of us?
A conversation.
A new idea.
A boundary.
A chance to rest.
A willingness to rewrite the vision.
A decision to stop doing something simply because we’ve always done it that way.
Sometimes we are waiting for a crystal ball to tell us what happens next when what we really need is enough light to see the next step.
We don’t have to see the whole path.
We need to see enough to take the next step.
Maybe We Don’t Need to Know
As I think about my own crystal ball, I don’t know exactly what I would see.
Maybe I would see the vision I’ve already written.
Maybe I would see something completely different.
Maybe I would see the opposite.
What I do know is that I don’t want fear, obligation, old habits, or expectations to make that decision for me.
So I’m going to rewrite my vision.
Not because the old one was wrong.
Because I have changed.
And perhaps that is the real opportunity—to stay curious enough, flexible enough, and courageous enough to let the vision change with me.
What would you see if you had a crystal ball?
And more importantly…
What would you choose if you didn’t need one?
Ready to See What’s Next?
Sometimes we don’t need someone to tell us what the future holds. We need a safe space to slow down, get curious, notice the stories and expectations we’re carrying, and discover what is really waiting for us on the other side of the door.
If you’re standing at a crossroads, feeling stuck, or simply wondering what your next chapter might look like, let’s explore it together.
Click the button below to schedule a Zoom with me.
You don’t have to have the answers before we talk. You just need to be willing to get curious about what might be possible.
Every story needs a soundtrack.
This is the one I’ve chosen for this post—sometimes because of the title, sometimes the lyrics, sometimes simply the feeling it stirs in me.
