How Horses Can Help Us Set Limits and Let Go
I think I wrote about my word for the year being completions. Last week I got another thing completed. The house in Oakley is sold.
It hasn’t been a great process. It’s been under contract three times, and it sold for less than we wanted.
There was still some furniture that I was trying to sell. It didn’t and I decided to put it to use here. Fortunately, the new owners gave me some grace. I got a few extra days to get it out.
John and I left Sunday morning. We picked up a U-Haul trailer on the way and got Charlie and a friend to help load and started packing stuff up around 2:30 pm. Charlie and his friend did most of the loading. For that I was grateful.
When they were done, I hadn’t seen the kids, so we decided to stay and have dinner with them. It made for a long day. We got home around 11:30 pm. I’m grateful for a safe trip as it wanted to rain almost the entire time we were driving.
While I was in Oakley, the guy who I had asked to fix my driveway called. He had come over to look at it and talk with me about it. We discussed what he thought the best course of action would be. Hopefully, another completion is coming soon.
Rediscovering Balance: Caregiving, Family, and the Art of Boundaries
I’m still feeling like things are coming at me rapid-fire. Mom called last week about an appointment that she had made for tomorrow. Yes, I can make that work. I’ve been thrown into the role of a caregiver all over again albeit with help from my brothers.
I have trouble with boundaries and people-pleasing. I always want to make everyone happy. Charlie texted on Wednesday and Saturday to see if we were coming on those days. I had talked about coming on Wednesday and he said he might be in the field, so we had planned on Sunday. Both times he wanted me to watch the kids. Both times I started to try to figure out how I could get that done. Both times I said no we couldn’t rearrange things.
When I was caring for Mike, it was normal for me to rearrange things so we could make a doctor’s appointment at the last minute as well as often stay away for extra time if needed. I would try to arrange schedules around John’s school activities as much as possible. When I had chemotherapy, we specifically made those appointments on Wednesdays because John’s golf meets were on Tuesdays or Thursdays. I’m good at rearranging whether I want to do it or not.
I feel like that was different than not setting boundaries. After all, it was medical.
Boundaries from the Barn: How Horses Teach Us to Hold Our Space
The horses are masters at setting boundaries. That’s why we wear close-toed shoes when we work with them. They may move into your space and if you don’t set your boundary they may end up on your foot.
I have one mare who often backs up to me and keeps backing gently until she’s almost on top of me. If I don’t tell her to stop, I think she would back right over me.
Do you have trouble setting boundaries? Do you even know what a boundary is? Come out and let the horses show you. Click the button below to set up a no-obligation Zoom with me to see it this is for you.
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Onward!
