The pain woke me at 2 am and I couldn’t get back to sleep.

Why do I keep having such pain in my hips? I got up and sent a message to my Touched By A Horse® coach. I was to talk with her the next afternoon and I wanted to talk about this pain in my hips that wakes me up and keeps me awake.

We spend our days waiting for the ideal path to appear in front of us but we forget that paths are made by walking…not waiting. – Jody Harris

I then Googled the significance of pain in the hips. What I found was that pain in the hips, legs, etc. is from a fear of moving forward.

So, what was this pain trying to tell me? That in some way my life was stuck because of fear. I had made much forward progress since I had joined the TBAH program why was I still having this pain.

In the program, we study somatics and how our body reacts to our emotions. Our throat may hurt when we need to say something, we get butterflies in our stomachs when we are anxious. You’ve all heard the common ones.

I have pain in my hips, it wakes me up at night, and sometimes keeps me awake. Is this keeping me from forward motion in my life?

Metal sign that I made.

When I graduated from high school I never intended to come back and live in Oakley. Neither of the first two majors that I had chosen in college worked for me and to get away from a relationship that had gone south I moved to my grandpa’s farm about 45 miles south and east of Oakley.

My dad was in the middle of changing over to a new computer program to send his medical claims to insurance and his staff had gotten behind on the claims. Would I come up after hours and do data entry?

I had met Mike a few years earlier and he co-owned the bar that was almost directly behind dad’s office. It was convenient for me to work for a few hours then walk over to see him. I fell in love and when I accepted his proposal, I knew my life would be in Oakley.

I envisioned a life working beside him on the farm. Instead, I did the books, raised the boys, and went to Fort Hays State University to complete a degree in Communications.

Live in the present, plan for the future, and profit from the past. – Melisa Pearce, Touched By A Horse

I wanted to live my creativity and have the freedom to show horses, so I was never very good at “real jobs”. There were some struggles when I would find something elsewhere that I thought was interesting, but I never pursued any of them.

Then I found the Touched By A Horse program. His first response was that we were not going to spend any more on my horses, they didn’t make money. So, I filed TBAH in the back of my head. Then when the job that I had with the city was combined with another and we had been to MD Anderson in Houston four times in three months with trips to KU Med Center in between I didn’t feel like I could do everything. So, I declined the promotion (combined jobs) from the city and started the TBAH program.

My completion of the program was delayed a little when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my last few months. I graduated in May 2018. I was in the middle of treatment and had decided to focus on that until it was complete.

Then, a little more than a month later Mike died. Now I had even more things I needed to focus on before I started my Equine Gestalt Coaching Method® practice.

Back to my fear of moving forward. Now I’m am ready to start that practice. My first event will be a Look Back, Look Forward Visioning Weekend where I will work on my vision for the year while helping others work on theirs.

Although I may not Breakaway it’s all forward motion from here on. 

Onward! Intentions Vs Resolutions

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