Susan (Ohmart) Bloom & Carol Ann (Socolofsky) Ohmart win first place in Lead Line
How Horses Help Us Embrace Our True Selves
Do you always feel like you’re being authentic? I mean true to yourself, never wavering.
I hear a lot about this. We tend to put on different personas for the outside world. Because we feel like people won’t like us if we’re our authentic selves.
We weren’t born this way. It’s something we develop as we grow up.
When I was a little girl, I wore my cowgirl boots all the time. It didn’t matter if I had shorts on, I’d wear my boots. Sure, I had other shoes, and these were my favorites. I always wanted to be with my pony.
Susan and Reed Man pole bending at the Kansas State High School Rodeo
The Pressure to Conform
As I got older, I wanted to fit in with the others. Even though I went to the elementary school that was mostly rural the girls (and boys) didn’t always wear boots.
It got even worse when I got into junior high and high school. We all wanted to fit in and not stand out.
I started showing horses when I was about five with my mom in lead pony. When I was 12 it got more intense because Grandpa bought me a horse that was a seasoned show horse when he took the young horse he had given me to be trained.
I started showing in 4-H shows that were the easiest to get to. When I got Reed Man back even though he was bred for speed I tried to show him in everything from showmanship at halter, western pleasure, and (my favorite) the speed events. We excelled at the speed events and got frustrated by the others.
Smokey Photo by Richard Ohmart
When I was about 14 Grandpa bought me a young horse to ride in the other events. Again, he went to a trainer to polish up the training he already had. (I think both times it was to make a safer horse for me) Smokey was a beautiful flashy horse who didn’t excel where I wanted him to either. I found out when I took him to college that he preferred roping to those showy events. Neither of these horses wanted to be inauthentic.
I kept showing in 4-H shows and some Quarter Horse shows. Then in my freshman year of high school, I discovered high school rodeo. It was my sport, and I was the only person in the school that did it. We traveled all over the state. On the weekend of my junior prom, I went to three rodeos and the prom. My date had come 200 miles. I came home from an afternoon rodeo on Saturday, cleaned up and went to prom, then left the next morning for the Sunday afternoon rodeo.
Zandy photo by J Bar D Studio
Finding Authenticity Through Equine Gestalt
I would say most people would have thought of me as a cowgirl. I wanted to fit in with my friends, so I only wore my boots and western shirts when I was competing. I wore other clothes for everything else. This may be why I feel like I don’t have a definite sense of my style to this day.
One of my first pieces of work in the EGC training was around being authentic. I had also talked with my therapist about it. He asked me why I couldn’t be the person I am who likes to drink wine and not be the typical cowgirl and still like horses. That was the same conclusion I came to at the Core where I worked on it. I can be authentically myself. I don’t have to dress like a cowgirl. I don’t have to be a cowgirl to work with my horses.
Why fit in when you were born to stand out? ~ Dr Seuss
The horses won’t respond as well if I’m not authentic around them. They can see right through the façade I put on for society. I must be authentic around them.
Have you sacrificed your authentic self? Would you like to look in the mirror and see who you really are? Come be with the healing herd and come back to your authenticity. Click the button below to set up a no-obligation Zoom.
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Onward!
