I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.
~J.R.R. Tolkien
Sometimes things sting. Even when it’s not your pain.
Last week my youngest son lost a friend. She was 20 years old and had just passed her nursing boards. She was going places and, on the way, up. And her life was cut short.
John texted me Wednesday morning and asked me to call when I could. He was devastated. He could hardly talk. I didn’t know her very well. She’d been to the house a few times, but we hadn’t really talked. My heart hurts for him. My heart hurts for her family.
Mike fishing in Washington. He was truly in the moment.
She had been concerned and supportive about John’s seizures. And was probably one of the few friends that he could talk to about them as her brother had seizures too. John wrote something that he wanted to read but didn’t have the opportunity, so he gave it to her parents. I hope it brought them some comfort.
It’s hard when someone dies. What do you say to the grieving? How long should we take to grieve? This is very personal. I feel like we never stop grieving.
I have a picture of Mike that hangs in my living room. It’s of him fishing in Washington and he had the biggest smile on his face. He is glowing in joy. Sometimes when I walk past it, I smile because it brings memories of the good times. Sometimes I cry because he’s no longer with me.
As the years go by the waves of grief don’t come as often. Sometimes when they do, they are small. Other times they are huge. Either way, I take whatever time I need to acknowledge them and know that they will come again. There is no timeframe on grief.
In Equine Gestalt we have ways to help with grief. I’m not going to say it will go away completely – it helps to process. Would you like to see how the horses and I can support you with your grief? Connect with me here to learn more.
We can be Wrecked by grief.
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Onward!
