The Best Man’s toast at our wedding. Notice Mike’s hat. Photo courtesy Richard Ohmart

This song was popular when I moved back from Manhattan. I was living on my grandpa’s farm 45 miles south of Oakley and came up in the evenings help dad get his new computer system up to date at the office. I had started seeing Mike that summer and he co-owned a bar that was across the alley from dad’s office.

I would come to the office at 5:00 to help with the backlog of patients that needed to be entered. I would spend several hours there and then go across the alley to see Mike.

A double-take. Photo courtesy Stan Clark, Pyramid Studio

One night I was at home and asleep when my phone rang. Mike and a girlfriend of one of the other owners were closing up. Stuck On You was playing on the jukebox and Mike was singing to me.

Mike couldn’t sing and this was before you could look up lyrics on the Internet so I’m guessing it was amusing and not very romantic. But I loved it.

I never intended for things to get serious with Mike. Funny how things change. We were married for 32 years.

After 32 years, on our anniversary, when I was bald from chemo, he told me he had never liked my long hair. Again, funny that it came out then. Maybe he was trying to make me feel better. Or maybe it was to get back at me for always calling him a cheap date because he couldn’t eat.

Why so nostalgic? Friday is the date that marks one year that I’ve been without him. And today we had a funeral for my granddaughter’s other grandmother. That leaves her with one grandparent and two great grandparents. It also seems that I’ve gotten a little more sentimental since John has graduated. Maybe it’s just that I’m not as busy.

When I start feeling down, I go spend a little extra time with the horses. They always help. They balance me back out. The horses have preserved my sanity many times since I was a girl. They truly have a healing gift.

If you’d like to read more about my journey with Mike or grief here’s a list of posts:

I’m in his heart.
Photo courtesy Fred Miller

• Life Can Change Quickly
• Nostalgia And Water
• Unchartered Territory
• Grieving And Summit
• A New Chapter
• A Reluctant Caregiver
• Perfect
• Optimism
• Firsts And Lasts
• The Grief Box

Stuck On You.

Onward! Body Shaming

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