Sometimes we are put in the position to ask why? Is it possible that the question we should be asking is what am I going to do with this or what will I learn from this?
I had a friend comment on one of my posts on FaceBook when I was diagnosed with breast cancer about not asking why. I don’t remember exactly what she said but it had me asking why not me? (You can read more about that here)
When I was diagnosed my response was what is the Universe trying to teach me?
This morning in church our pastor talked about asking why and how he heard that the right question is what are you going to do with this?
I was a caregiver for Mike for five-and-a-half years. In that time, I contemplated what are you going to do with this? My first step was to enroll in the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method training.
As a caregiver, breast cancer patient, and as the doctor’s daughter in a rural community, I saw things in health care that others might not. My dad was the only doctor in our small town and the county. He was on call 24/7. I can remember many times when someone would come into a high school basketball game or the phone would ring at the restaurant and he’d leave to go to the hospital. It was this way most of the years I was growing up.
As the wife of a farmer, I remember feeling that Mike wasn’t spending enough time with me and the boys. It caused a lot of tension in our marriage. I can only imagine how my mother felt when someone called in the middle of the night and dad would leave.
As our lives have become increasingly demanding I can see how doctors must be feeling stretched and on the edge of burnout.
While I was a caregiver, I was told many times: you need to take care of yourself, you can’t give from an empty cup. As our doctors are stretched to the breaking point, they need to remember this as well. It’s not good for them, their families, or their patients when they don’t take care of themselves. It can make them susceptible to burnout and disease. It can create tensions between their loved ones and themselves. The old adage of doctor heal thyself certainly comes into play.
As my Equine Gestalt Coaching began to unfold, I found a passion to help doctors. Help them take care of themselves. To avoid burnout and disease. To create better relationships with themselves, their families, and their patients and caregivers.
When I start asking myself why: Why was I the daughter of the only doctor in town; Why did I choose to stay in Oakley; Why was I a caregiver for five-and-a-half years; Why did I lose my husband before he was 60 years old; Why did I get breast cancer? I know it’s for the lessons learned. I would not be the woman I am today without all those experiences. I would not be a Gestaltist. I would not be passionate about helping doctors.
When you find yourself asking why turn it around and ask yourself what’s the lesson or what am I going to do with this?
It’s the Lessons Learned that make us who we are. Lessons Learned by Carrie Underwood and by Kristin Chenoweth
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Onward!
