Sometimes the Doors We Keep Closing Are the Ones Meant for Us
The Doors That Keep Opening
I’ve been thinking about open doors lately.
It wasn’t anything sudden. Sometime in May, I began noticing that the bedroom doors upstairs would be standing open, even though I hadn’t opened them.
The upstairs has its own heating and air conditioning system. Unless I have guests staying there, I don’t run the air conditioning during the summer. In the winter, I only keep the heat on enough to protect the pipes.
It’s possible Dalila opened them. The doors have lever handles instead of knobs, and she’s smart enough to work them. Yet one of those doors sticks, and every time I’ve found them, they’re wide open. When Dalila wants into the bathroom on the main floor to curl up in the bathtub, she only pushes that door open partway.
Sometimes I joke that someone could be living upstairs without me knowing it.
Truthfully, it’s a little unsettling.
My first reaction is always the same—I close them.
The Question I Didn’t Expect
Set your intention and the door will be opened.
Last week I was talking with a colleague when I mentioned the mysterious doors.
She paused for a moment and asked, “What do you think those open doors are trying to tell you?”
Then she followed with another question.
“Why do you keep closing them?”
That one stopped me.
Not because I had an immediate answer, but because I realized how often I’ve been doing exactly that in other areas of my life.
The Doors We Close Ourselves
Lately, opportunities have shown up.
An invitation to connect with someone.
A networking event.
An idea for a new project.
A conversation I meant to follow up on.
None of them disappeared on their own.
I simply didn’t walk through the door.
Sometimes I tell myself I don’t have enough time to drive into the city for a networking breakfast. Sometimes I convince myself I’ll work on that project “next week.” Other times I stay where it’s comfortable—behind my computer, on the ranch, surrounded by familiar routines.
Comfort isn’t necessarily wrong.
Yet comfort can quietly become a place where possibilities fade.
When Caregiving Becomes Our Default
Clocks keep ticking!
Part of it is that caregiving is still woven into my life.
Even after years of caring for Mike, I find myself helping my mom and my son. Taking them to appointments, getting medications, and making sure everyone else is okay.
Caregiving teaches us to be available.
It teaches us to anticipate everyone else’s needs before our own.
Over time, that becomes our default setting.
When another opportunity appears, our mind doesn’t ask, “Could this help me grow?”
Instead, it asks, “Do I have time for this?”
Most of the time, the answer feels like no.
Not because the opportunity isn’t worthwhile.
Because we’ve forgotten that we matter too.
Restoring What Gets Lost
When I begin feeling overwhelmed, I almost always find my way back to the horses.
They have a remarkable way of helping me slow down, breathe, and notice what’s really happening beneath the surface.
Sometimes I do something completely different instead. I’ll design something, edit photographs, or work on a creative project.
For years I viewed those activities as distractions.
Now I’m beginning to see them differently.
They don’t take time away.
They help restore my energy, my creativity, and my perspective.
They reconnect me with the vibrant part of myself that often gets buried beneath responsibilities and endless to-do lists.
Ironically, when I give myself permission to pause, I usually return to my work with more clarity than when I kept pushing through.
Which Door Is Waiting?
Maybe those upstairs doors aren’t trying to tell me anything at all.
Maybe they’re simply doors.
Or maybe they became the reminder I needed.
How many opportunities have I quietly closed because they felt inconvenient, uncomfortable, or uncertain?
How many doors have I assumed weren’t meant for me simply because walking through them required courage?
I suspect I’m not alone.
We all have doors standing open.
Some lead toward healing.
Some toward connection.
Some toward a life that’s waiting just outside our comfort zone.
The question isn’t whether the doors are open.
The question is whether we’re willing to stop automatically closing them.
Could This Be Your Next Open Door?
If you find yourself feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or wondering why you keep closing doors that could lead to something more, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Gestalt coaching offers a safe space to gently explore the patterns, beliefs, and experiences that may be keeping those doors closed. If you’re curious whether it’s the right fit for you, I’d love to connect.
Click below to schedule a complimentary Zoom conversation. We’ll simply talk, get to know one another, and see whether this work feels like the next open door for your journey.
Every story needs a soundtrack.
This is the one I’ve chosen for this post—sometimes because of the title, sometimes the lyrics, sometimes simply the feeling it stirs in me.
