When I was in fifth or sixth grade the teacher read The Hobbit to us. All I remember about the book was that at the beginning when describing Bilbo Baggins, he was said to have hair on his feet. It’s normal for hobbits to have hair on their feet. I want to be a hobbit.

I’m blessed because my parents didn’t place a lot of emphasis on looks. I grew up with two older brothers and no sisters, so I didn’t get any guidance from a sister either. I loved to spend time outside riding my horses and wore cowboy boots almost exclusively when I was in elementary school.

I was also a chubby little girl. When I was in the eighth grade, I developed a figure and had pretty much already reached my full height. Very disappointing for the high school girls’ basketball coach who was counting me to be like my older brother. He was around six feet tall and could outjump boys who were much taller than him. Even though I slimmed down I still felt like that chubby little girl.

It turned out I wasn’t a very good basketball player and gave it up my junior year in favor of riding my horse all winter and singing. My parents were always supportive of everything we did and do.

I’m surprised when I see girls today who seem to spend a lot of time on their looks. Are they naturally that thin or do they starve themselves or worse take something to help with weight loss? Do they feel secure enough to be without makeup? Is there pressure from adults?

I’d like her to grow up believing that she’s beautiful just the way she is.

Several years ago, I saw a mother shame her young daughter for not doing a good job shaving her legs. I wasn’t even thinking about shaving at that age and I don’t think that my legs would live up to this mother’s standards.

Don’t get me started on manscaping. Seriously it’s not enough they don’t have sculpted bodies now they need to be hairless too!

I have always had thick brown hair and the last several years I had helped it stay brown. Now I’m just thrilled to have hair. It is thick, gray, and approaching shoulder length. For a while I didn’t have eyebrows or lashes now, I’m ecstatic to have them.

I believe that it would be much better for our society if we taught our children to be kind and non-judgmental rather than that they must look good. To have a truly kind heart is one of the best gifts we can give them and it makes them beautiful.

Do you feel the need to look perfect?

Do you feel the need to have your children look perfect?

Two of my horses working on me. Photo by Rhonda Abell

Keep in mind what you are teaching them. They are children. They should be allowed to get dirty, to live in the moment and not worry about what someone else thinks. None of us are perfect – it would be a very boring world if we were – stop trying.

The horses are great at helping you get rid of the ideas that we’ve grown to believe and to help you not pass that on. If you’d like to find out how contact me here.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Scars To Your Beautiful.

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Onward! Meet Me In Montana.