I had a couple of people tell me that I would become attached to and miss the people who did my chemo and radiation treatments. Frankly, I can only remember a few of their names. I can see their faces, but I certainly don’t miss them.
On the other hand, I do miss Mike’s doctors or at least the ones that we saw the most. Even the new hematologist that we had only been seeing for a few months. I didn’t think I’d get to know him as well. He’d seen Mike during one of his hospital stays and he didn’t feel like someone that I would like, but I did.
So why do I feel like doctors should make connections with their patients and caregivers?
Connection is the Energy That is Created Between People When They Feel Seen, Heard, and Valued; When They Can Give and Receive Without Judgement. – Brené Brown
When a patient feels that connection he feels heard. The energy shifts around what the doctor is telling the patient and the patient listens better. The patient isn’t as worried about asking questions if the doctor listens without judgement.
In the last two weeks I’ve taken two of my sons to see Mike’s pulmonologist. As I sat and watched the interaction, I had the feeling that he was treating them with respect and without judgement. The doctor was listening to what they said and explaining things in a way they understood. He even joked when they both said the only reason, they were there was because mom wanted them to be.
These young horses are figuring out communications in the herd.
Mike loved these doctors. They would listen to his fishing stories. They would share parts of their lives with us. They would come visit us when he was in the hospital even if he wasn’t in their care that week. I felt comfortable in asking some rather uncomfortable questions.
During Mike’s last stay at KU Med Center this pulmonologist was working the unit. Mike had been flown to Kansas City while I drove. I wasn’t going to get there before 5:00 so when I stopped, I emailed him and asked him if he would call me. My phone was ringing before I got back on the interstate. He explained Mike’s status to me and it made me feel better.
Later in that stay when I expressed my frustrations about not feeling like the doctors communicated about his case very well, he explained how they communicated. He also said Mike’s case was very complicated and they were frustrated as well.
Listening to patients and caregivers is key. There may be something in their lives that is prohibiting them from doing what is necessary for their care. It may be an easy fix that if the doctor listens they may be able to offer help.
Two of my horses working on me. Photo by Rhonda Abell
Communication is a key component of health care. Asking the right questions and listening without judgement are necessary.
How is your communication?
Connect with me here if you would like to see how the horses and I can help.
Connection opens the door for better communication.
Make a Connection in the comments below.
Onward! Being Authentic
