The troll is back!

I was talking to my coach on Monday and she doesn’t feel like I’m showing enough self-compassion. You see I’m struggling to get some stuff done that I’ve been putting off for years. So, she challenged me to write about self-compassion this week.

My graduation from high school.

Dr Kristin Neff defines self-compassion as giving “ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.”

When I have a friend, who’s struggling with something I’m always showing compassion for them as well as telling them to be easier on themselves. To show themselves more self-compassion. Why is it easier to show compassion for someone else than for ourselves? Or why do we feel that others are more deserving?

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. ~ Buddha

We all have limiting beliefs and trolls on our shoulders telling us we aren’t good enough or whatever version of that fits. How can we be kinder to ourselves when we feel like we have done something wrong?

Let’s try this on. I had a teacher who berated me for not finishing my homework. Now I have trouble finishing things. There she sits on my shoulder telling me I can’t finish anything.

It took me a little longer to graduate from college.

Is this true? Of course not. I’ve finished many things. First of all, I graduated from high school with honors despite her best efforts to keep me from it. I’ve also finished a bachelor’s degree and the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method® program. Those are just the educational accomplishments I have many others.

I feel that I must live up to someone else’s standards when I know that really the only standards that matter are my own. The only person that needs to love me or have compassion for me is myself.

As you can see these beliefs follow us from childhood into adulthood and can truly limit us. They are only in our minds. They are not true.

These mares need me to at least come see them!

Now if it weren’t so cold, snowing, and dark, I would go out and let the horses help this sink in. But I’ll save that for morning when I have to be out there anyway.

Loving Yourself is Healing the World! ~ Jaymie Gerard

Don’t let the demons keep you from finding your Home.

Onward! On Fitting In, Part 1

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